A spiritual coming out
It’s finally spring! Hello April, and welcome, dear reader, to another edition of On Yoga. This month, I want to write about something rather intimate – my spiritual coming out.
The thing is, I’m a really spiritual person, but not many people know this about me. This is because, similar to my adoration of Lady Gaga, I don’t really speak about it with anyone. So my spiritual beliefs and practices are something I’ve kept to myself, feeling rather certain that nobody knew about this part of me. Or did they? It occurred to me that this might actually be similar to being a closeted gay: you think you’re doing an amazing job hiding it, but actually, all of your friends already suspect something. So why is it important then to have a coming out? I found that, in order to be at your most authentic, it’s important to integrate every aspect of yourself and not hide certain parts because you think some people might not like them. There comes a great amount of self-esteem with this kind of honesty.
So here it is, Spiritual Gregor, right out of the proverbial closet. But what does this actually mean? First and foremost, I believe in the concept of energy, or vibes if you want a more modern word for it. The first time I experienced the difference energy can make was during a theater play I was part of when I was sixteen. We performed six shows during the course of a week, and every night was dramatically different. There were nights when both the audience and actors were amazingly concentrated, and those nights you could literally feel the energy of the play in the room, the show was amazing, and I could feel myself doing a really good job as an actor. Other nights, attention and concentration were kinda off, and it was really like playing for an empty room; there was no energy there to fill it with. Since then, I’ve become more and more aware of this kind of energy in situations, places, and also people, and I’ve learned to trust my intuition with either the presence or absence of energy. You might have had this kind of experience with some friends of friends that you immediately clicked with and just felt an authentic connection with them – this is the kind of energy I’m talking about.
I had another huge “energy” experience during the yoga teacher training I did over the last year. On one weekend, we started doing little teaching practices, instructing the rest of the group in a couple of postures. The moment I stepped on that podium in front of the group, I could feel every cell of my body saying, “yes, this is it, this is where you’re supposed to be.”
I remember when I hiked the Camino de Santiago, a friend said to me: “When the soul does what it’s supposed to do, it sings.” That’s the kind of energy I’m talking about.
What makes your soul sing? And is there an aspect of your personality that would deserve a coming out? I’m curious to hear from you!
